i dream of him agn last night. bt i cant rmb anymre. all the btr.
went town to do project in the afternoon. did abit of shopping alone before tt. bought ear studs and sm pens and tys. nth much. i wish i can rrly shop tho.
i'm so busy. so many things waiting to be done.
sarah. thns for listening to me. it's nice enough. lols. oh. u cant quit making fun of me and my antics, can u? lols.
priss. yeah. i'm aware of the problem between us. i hope u can tell me what's going on and what u've been thinking when u're ready to talk to me. anytime. u take care too. dont think too much in any case. btw. i still treat u as my 'goodest' friend since i dont have any best friend.
jon. u sure wont see me dancing on the platform. i dont rrly think i will dance, so yeah. hahahs. unless sm hunk asked me to. lols. u btr go!! and yup. i'm quite looking forward. gna party the night away. ohhyah. if only u go then we can have the follow up yea? lols.
|
why?
i dont understand why i'm crying.
i wanted to sms u this morning when i woke up frm tt scary nightmare. bt i decided not to. i wanted to sms u just now, bt agn, i decided not to. why? 'cus i feel tt i'm always the one taking the initiative to sms u, asking u out and everyth. i'm quite tired alrdy. it makes me feel so unloved smtyms, makes me feel tt i aint impt. i've been trying to be a good friend to uu, to be a friend tt u wont stop contacting. bt i cant. if u rrly treat me as a good friend and confidant, is it so hard to sms me/call me? is it rrly gna be awkard and all? do u understand how i feel?
i just saw nel and his sis. talked abit. nth much. he told me he saw the fireworks, and tt was what left me thinking. i thought alot abt him today 'cus i had a rrly rrly bad nightmare yday. i woke up almost in tears this morning. even wanted to sms to ask my friends if it's true. it w as too real. totally freaked me out. another reason why i was thinking so much. 'cus thr's alot of couples today. many brought their partners along to see the fireworks. this kinda mean tt when i was looking at the fireworks and thinking abt him, he was looking at the fireworks too. i guess so. hah. nt impt luhhs. talked abt him today to sm of my friends 'cus they were asking me sm questions.
the fireworks lasted so long today. so damn nice!! it's rrly rrly nice. esp sweet with xiaoyan and sherman standing beside me. hah. oh yah. so many reporters took photos. ahhhh. so embarrassing. hahas. u guys might see my on the papers or what so ever. ayes. i'm just saying. anyway, if it rrly happens, dont puke. was partying after the 'perfomance'. took so many pics today luhhs.
reply:
gi. actually, i dont think i've been blogging much abt him. unless i happen to talk to him or see him. other than tt, i dont think i do. as to yday's entry was 'cus i watched tv. i've rrly been doing quite well in tt area. anyway. this is the only place whereby i can truly say what i wna say, what i've been thinking. cant help it if i do talk. get what i mean?
take care dear! we'll meet up soon. and dont worry abt ur grades, i have faith tt u'll do well. =)
| Friday, July 29, 2005
why is tt that the person u love often, doesnt love you back? and yet, the person tt u dont love, loves you? if only love is simplier.
life's unfair. u cant always get what u want.
i should say. i'm happier now as i'm in a new enviroment. putting everyth behind and looking forward. i thank god that i'm placed in here. i thank god for all my friends. i thank god for giving me strength and courage. every single thing. i'm glad i have the chance to 'live again'. nonetheless, i still love my friends in nbss, esp my clique. havent had the chance to meet up, everyone take care and do well yea?
been really busy these days. term 3 is zooming by. i'm scared of promos. i dont want to retain and i dont want to leave cj. i want the whole class to graduate tgr. i want to do well. i'm going to try my best. i want more time to study, more time to rest, more time for everyone. if only i could.
i kinda miss the thrill, the feeling of falling in love again. falling in love is a great feeling. however, i'm not prepared and i dont have the time to. not that i have anyone liking me. hah.
nights.
| Monday, July 25, 2005
us. at ndp rehearsals
|
grp pic
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us. i think we look cute. carriann.xiaoyan.me.hui.sarah
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nicole.me
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hui.me. i think she looks more violated than me
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me.sarah.she was suppose to look violated by me. hahas
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sarah.nicole.hui.me
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i love this pic.
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kavitha. me. sarah. hui
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taken during ndp.
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i cant upload these pics. so yeah. shall just post it here
| Sunday, July 24, 2005
been trying hard to suppress my feelings and my tears today. had a hard time.
sometimes, they just came. i cant help it.
once agn, the fireworks was great! so so beautiful. xiaoyan put her hand on my shoulder and i cldnt help it. ayes.
i had to let go of the cloth twice. i almost fell frm the top.
i'm so determined right now. more determined than ever. the more harm u inflict, the tougher i become. so thns.
thanks alot sarah and hui. thns for listening and not asking. thns for just being thr. thns for making me laugh. anyway, i love our clique, so much. it's cus of uu ppl, tt kept me going, tt kept me smiling each day. u guys are impt to me. i love every single one of uu.
| Friday, July 22, 2005
i've had enough of it. u guys are pushing me too hard.
why do u guys have to do tt? bt agn, it's expected.
am sick and angry. aint in the mood to blog.
i'm getting worse. my fever is on off. i'm having rrly bad cough. i'm nt getting well.
and of all times. u choose to talk to me now.
shun. hahahs. yea. stop laughing at me alright. btw. u take care of urself alright. cya ard in sch!
aloy. thns for tt compliment. =)
susan. yeah! i want our friendship to last rrly rrly long. be my bridesmaid first, then we'll plan our married life tgr. hahas.
each time u make things clear to me, the mre idiotic i feel when i read my past entries. u make me feel like a fool each time.
as i've said. i've stopped carrying tt hope of getting back with uu long ago. i'm making things clear here too. like u've did long ago. whenever i write abt u here, it's just 'cus of the memories. i still love and miss the memories. they still meant a whole lot to me. bt other than tt, nothing else remains, nothing matter anymre.
i'm happy the way i am.
| Thursday, July 21, 2005
today's racial harmony day! i had fun in sch. all the dressing up and taking all the photos. wee~
i said alot of funny things. did a lot of stupid stuff. shun made a funny comment abt me in my saree. 'cus the saree was long and i was abit clumsy. she told sarah tt i look like i just came out of the shower and i just draped a curtain over myself. like wth?! hahahahhas. they were like looking and laughing at me when i was walking towards them. anyway. i think my clique loves to laugh at me. i guess my stupidity and clumsiness contributes to the reason why they're starting to have abs muscle. lols.
everyone looks so pretty today. and i had so much bling bling on me. lols. all thns to kavitha and thaya. go check out the photos uploaded under racial harmony pics. i love indian costumes. oh yah. i did the henna too. thaya did it for me. hmm. my friends were having mt when i was eating prata, satay and sausage in the study are with thaya, kavitha and they're friends. my and susan made quite a few grand entrance 'cus we seem to always be late for lectures. hhahahas. so embarrassing!
i love my clique in cj. they make me feel loved. make me feel tt i have them to lean upon when i'm upset. at least. they dont know, and they dont ask. they just listen. i sort of lead a different life when i'm in cj, probably 'cus of the change in enviroment. it's just like starting anew. i'm so glad to have them by my side. if not for them, i wldnt be as happy as i am.
nonetheless, i love my clique in nbss too.
i love my friends. thns to everyone who's always been thr for me.
| Tuesday, July 19, 2005
just uploaded 5 pics taken during ndp rehearsal. it is under 'random sch pics'. can go check it out. went to sch today. am still sick tho. bt i shld be okay. and i have netball trg tmr. bahs.
mood still aint too good. pretty okay i guess. not as bad as yday.
will go study soon. i have to buck up! tina jiayou! lols.
oh yah. i'm looking forward to racial harmony day, tt is thurs. gna be fun! we're all gna wear ethnic costumes.
| Monday, July 18, 2005
Happy Birthday Priscilla.
i aint feeling too good right now. i should just go to bed. i should go sch tmr.
| Sunday, July 17, 2005
honestly. i feel like crap now. my body's so unwell. i have so much uncompleted homework. i'm feeling stress and frustrated inside. i feel so tired. i dont feel like doing anyth at all. shun is asking me to go see a doc and get mc. maybe i wont go sch tmr afterall. bt i'll still have to go out. priss's bday.
i just came back frm sentosa. i saw couples suntanning tgr and i thought of us. i rrly miss those times.
i knw i cant keep doing this 'cus it's hurting me. bt i cant help it now. i feel weak bth inside and outside.
i feel like running away agn. i wna be alone. away frm everybody.
call me weak. call me a coward. i dont care.
|
i feel like two different person when i'm in sch and when i'm outside. guess i'm just different when i'm alone. i dont understand why too. i bet i always seem so happy to everyone.
the fireworks was magnificant tonight. yeah. once again. kinda made me wna cry. i so love fireworks. they're so beautiful yet again, shortlived. i just thought of our r/s. beautiful yet shortlived too. images of the fireworks are still in my mind. like, oh god.
rehearsal was fun today. took many pics. hahas. everyone's saying tt i'm "high". hmmm. actually, i kinda think tt we dont do anyth thr. we just go thr to eat, laugh, talk and then do the thing. nth else. simple and fun. so yeah.
saw quite a few good looking guys today. i even sat beside one when i was on my way back. lols. my friends call me "hua chi" and bimbiotic okay. oh. like whatever~
lols.
ohh yah. this aug issue of magazines are quite good. like seventeen and female talks abt getting over ur ex, ayes, the usual stuff. go check them out.
am in a rather bad mood now. i want a holiday. i mean a real one.
i kinda miss u right now.
esp ur hug and kisses.
| Monday, July 11, 2005
just to let you know that, i'm willing to do anything for you except maybe climbing the tallest moutain. i'm desperate for you. i'm lost without you. be my shelter. be my strong tower. be my comforter. be mine always.I Love You! -nel.
Last but not least. My Lovely Darling! Tina Toh Soh Teng!Without you, this whole thing wouldn't even happen. You took about a month to plan this. Getting people to come. Going all the way to Sentosa just to book the area, pit and tents. All your sweat and efforts. You won't know how grateful and thankful i feel. You're a beauty, a real beauty, with great personalities. What a fool i was to break up with you the first time round. But i'm not gonna let it happen this time round cos you are indispensable to me. All so important to me. I'm gonna stick to you like how your lip gloss is on your lips. That close! You will forever be in my heart. My steadfast love for you never ceases. I will always love you Tina! -nel.
i just read our co-blog agn. i cried. yes, i did. am alrdy feeling weak 'cus i'm ill. having slight fever and flu. for the whole day i've been wanting to puke and tt migrain is rrly killing me. i cant even concentrate in class. looked quite pale for awhile. i cried due to many reasons i guess. 'cus as i read abt what we wrote, those images appeared. i guess i can rmb everyth single thing tt happened for each entry. i thought it wasnt tt clear anymre. bt now, i'm pretty sure it's selective memory. 'cus i thought of those things tt u've said to me. those things tt once meant so much to me. so much tt it hurts to think of them now. 'cus suddenly, i felt as if the way we broke up so too abrupt and maybe abit unbelievable. i rmb the things tt u told me the night tt u called me. it felt kinda weird to think abt how things ended when how great things were from the start. it's kinda silly to think abt all these now. i guess it's just nostalgia and maybe me feeling sick.
have u ever regret making tt decision at night? i suddenly thought of it. nt tt it matters now, just tt i would like to satisfy my curiosity.
i was telling my maid tt i saw u the other day. my maid asked u to get back with uu. 'cus u're handsome and i'm pretty, and so she loves to see us tgr. bt well, tt's not gna the case.
i just had to type these out no matter how pathetic it seems. whatever it is, i'm still moving on.
i'm going to rest. i feel tt i'm gna puke agn. i didnt even take my dinner.
| Sunday, July 10, 2005
my family is so united today. i hope they can be like this everytime we're tgr. everyone's happy. 'cept tt i still aint talking to my sis. neither is my bro and sis in law. ayes. my maid's gna leave in sep, so we were discussing whether to get a new maid or not. so i was saying. get a maid, so my mum wldnt be so busy. bt i wldnt mind those maid whereby they just come regularly to clean up the house. hahahas. and i was thinking if we dont get a maid, i can get a dog! hahahas. i rrly hope so. we'll see. guess my dad will be the one making the decision and all.
ciaos!
aloy. what makes u think i'm dieting? hahas. i dont quite think i am. bt i shld. 'cus i'm fat.
|
havent been blogging for quite sometime. been really busy. shall start with thurs. received this sudden notice on wed night tt we have ndp rehearsal on thurs. frm 5 till 10. in the it ended at like 11 odd so i reached hm pretty late. gt hm ard 11.45 going 12 i guess. nel saw me at yck station and wanted to talk to me, bt i was going to my dad's car. so he called me on my phone instead. i was surprised to see "nelson calling". oh yea. when i saw tt, i thought of "dearie calling". hah. saw him like twice when i was inside the car, and while we were still on the phone. the scenes were pretty funny. urhs. so yea. talked till we were bth hm. anyway. i think he sounded kinda weird on the phone. bt the conversation itself was rather simple.
woke up with a drag and went to sch. sch was boring. as usual. did i mention tt ms lee changed our seats? orignally sitting at the back, i'm now right in front of the teachers table. -flip. bt anyway. i'm still sitting beside hui hui and we're still laughing all the time. there was this funny incident tt happened to me during chem tt day. i opened the first button of my shirt 'cus the heat was rrly rrly getting to me. so ms soh said," tina, ur button is open." and i went," i know. i'm damn hot." the whole class started laughing. then i paused to think abt what i've said. it sounded wrong. lols. bt ms soh said, " tina, this is not a pub. " hahas. i mean like honestly, guess the impression tt ppl in sch have abt me aint tt good. u shld hear frm them man. lols. alrighty. rushed off after sch to meet sherin at suntec. supposedly to have bible study bt in the end, we talked. it kinda felt like a counselling session to me. rushed back to sch after tt 'cus i have netball interhouse. i was late and everyone was like waiting for me. urhs. anyway, i'm like the only one frm netball. my netball seniors came and talked to me, asked me to hurry change. we had ard 5mins. we didnt manage to get into the second round bt i had fun. rrly. i miss playing netball. i miss interhouse in sec sch. =) oh yeah. think our class aint tt disperse now. it's slightly better. hung ard with my friends for awhile before benny asked me to meet him in town for awhile.
ndp preview yday. we were asked to be in sch by 12 bt instead, we left the sch at like 3 plus 4. during tt time, we had a briefting then a break. signed up for 1 residential project and 2 expedition. more to come. am interested in going for those residential projects organised by the councilors too. i gt shun to go mango with me during the break. hahas. bought a dress. wanted to get this orange sweater too, bt i cant. 'cus i've been spending too much. ndp was quite fun, although we didnt do much. the process of bringing the fabric down was quite scary. the p5 kids seem as though they're gna tear it apart. i almost fell. cant make it luhhs. the fireworks was awesome. absolutely awesome. bt guessed what. the min the fireworks came up. i thought of him. i wished for him to be the one standing beside me. or hugging me frm behind. tt thought kinda hit me a little 'cus i havent been thinking much abt him. guess 'cus i've been rrly busy. bt i'm rrly happy being busy. nth much happened after tt.
woke up early and went for svc this morning. decided to go since i havent been going. svc was pretty alright. and thns to jacky for accompanying me. rushed off to meet shun and sarah at rtc. played tennis. tennis was fun! am thinking of taking actual lessons thr now. shun's mum came and brought us for lunch. wanted to go for vc's sales after priss told me abt it. bt yea. i didnt in the end. shun's mum sent me to bishan mrt bt i took a cab back in the end.
alright. tt's all. man. this is such a long entry.
reply.
aloy. i didnt play well tt day. i was normal. bt thns anyway. urhs. as for the template. i just need a change.
if i'm not so busy. if i have time for uu. i would sort out my feelings and then decide where to go frm thr. bt for the simple fact tt i know i have no time to commit to u, i shant think more. afterall, i guess things are good now. we're both doing great. at least i think u're doing great.
| Wednesday, July 06, 2005
just edited the template. hahahas. leave comments and tell me what u guys think. i'm nt even sure if i like it. i just need a change.
played tennis at yck sports complex after sch yday. was supposed to play at my bro's condo. bt smth happened. oh yah. went town before tt to terminate my singtel dial up plan. like finally. and my mum had been paying for nothing. hee. tennis was funny. the sun was scorching man. and darn. i had ppl laughing at me. bt well. it was fun.
came hm early as trg was cancelled. was quite happy 'cus i'm so desperate for slp. i'm so not use to sch agn. ayes. saw cheryl's mum and alicia while waiting for 825. slept frm 3 plus to ard 6 plus. ate and watched tv after tt. -hush. i knw i'm a pig. =)
ndp rehersal frm 5pm-10pm tmr! like wth. bt i think it's gna be fun. at least i have a positive attitude. hahas. gna be a busy busy day.
bible study was postphoned frm tmr to fri.
sch just started. so much things are happening. i'm gna be busy man. tt's good. i wont think much.
| Monday, July 04, 2005
u can lose hope in man, bt do not lose hope in God.
tt's what sarah told me when i was talking to her abt me and the church. =)
met sarah and shun for breakfast at causeway. went to civic centre to mug. didnt do alot bt definitely more than what i wld do at hm. so, i'm pretty happy. anyway. we laughed like hell today. many funny things happened luhhs. had fries at mos then kaya toast at yakun. i ate alot today man. hais. to think i'm suppose to be on a diet. tt's why i say i lack self discipline.
this is the link to sm pics taken smtym ago in sch.
http://www.imagestation.com/album/index.html?id=2124289261
i'll continue to upload pics thr.
yeah! tmr's the last paper. absolutely love it. maths. it isnt gna be very good bt it shldnt be as bad as chem and bio. or at least i hope. hahas. am gna play tennis after tt tmr. might stay to swim or tan.
alrighty. ciaos!
i'm still missing u today. today's the first time i went to civic since we broke up. and i just happen to sit at tt plc where we last sat when we were thr with ur friends. tt's the only empty table ard in tt whole level.
why do i always dream abt uu when i'm trying to move on. does this actually mean anyth? i dont think so. i believe it's all coincidental.
|
priss and me.
| Sunday, July 03, 2005
i dream of u agn last night. i've rrly been dreaming alot abt uu. and i cant understand why. i think of u less often now bt smhw or rather, whenever i'm out, i'll wonder if i'd bump into uu.
last night, was a good dream. i dream tt i was on 825 and u and ur friends gt on tt bus. when u got on the bus, u saw me, and uu smiled at me. u were sitting at the back talking and laughing with ur friends. i was looking out of the window, thinking abt uu. the bus was suppose to go to my hs, bt i have no idea why, the bus ended up going to smwhere near nyp. u got down to buy food and as u walked down, i realise u're more toned. ur body's good. when u came back, u walked back to ur seat. who knws, u came back with ur bag and u sat beside me. and i dont knw hw it happened, tt u ended up sitting in the "correct postition". think only u shld knw what i'm refering to. we talked, bt i was trying to appear nonchanlant, for the fear of showing too much of my feelings. when i was approaching my bus stop, u placed ur hand right beside my hand. u touched my hand, and i looked at u. u held my hand. i was so happy. before i got down the bus, i kissed u on ur head.
-snap. i'm back to reality.
the dream was so vivid.
it's all just a dream.
|
gt approached by tt model agency agn. it's like they prey on anybody. it isnt the first time anymre. towning agn. then went holland v to eat and chill. nth much. it's a pretty nice day. =)
we went out tgr. priss. gi. leow. eeling.
link for the pics taken today.
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2124373849&idx=0
| Saturday, July 02, 2005
spa bio was pretty good. i mean like everyth went smoothly so yea.
watched alot like love with priss today. like finally. bt we watched it at yishun gv. lols. what can i do? she has to go smwhere after tt. met benny after tt. went to suntec. shopped. ate. nth much.
it's a good day today. one of my happiest since sch started after june hols.
am having migrain prob agn. and i'm having flu too. ayes. i expected myself to fall sick soon anyway. since i havent been slping well.
nights.
- tina/teena =)
- sexy seventeen
- 280688
- angmokionorth pri. anderson pri. naval base secondary. catholic jc.
- singapore!
- tinatoh88@hotmail.com
- i am. a procrastinator. full of crap. quite materialistic. vainpot. noisy. pampered. indecisive.
- Loves. orange. black. turqoise. green(my current fav).
- the sun and the sea! suntanning. rollerblading. netball. badminton. swimming. sports.
- shopping. bikinis! clothes! sleeping. eating. talking. music.
- apples. watermelon. oranges. mango. fruits!
- the sweetest buds ard me! nbss clique and current clique.
- Hates. creepy crawlies. insects. breakingup. disappointment. backstabbers. liars. hypocrites.
gillian
tiffany
jaymie
alicia
alicia(nbss)
jillian
kahyee
benedict
kairenk
kenneth
raihanah
weilin
cornelius
michelle
elena
jeslyn
christopher
aloysius
shunxie
the shots.
ndp/club
racial harmony
hollandv
birthdaypics
random sch pics
credits:
[danhan&]
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