went to citihall to mt priss after netball. we won 40-15. hahahas. gd game. the whole odac was thr too. we were intimidating luhhs. lols.
we bought fd and went to esplanade. music was nice. quite breezy too. sat thr and talked, and talked. first time i went to esplanade after i broke up with him. what abt him? hah.
nth much luhhs.
|
12.30
i'm sitting here at the grandstand waiting for time to pass. will be heading to kallang Netball soon. having a match with MI.
was reading my storybk when the radio started playing enrique, then i decided to write this entry.
i dream of nel agn last night, this time, i felt guilty when as i awoke in the morning. i dream tt he told his friend the reason for being me, the reasons for whatever things tt he has done. so apparently, his friend went to tell priss and she told me. i was caught off guard by what she told me. hah. i felt damn bad after tt.
it isnt rrly surprising to dream of him since i was looking at 'our' photos before i went to bed. i mean i have to look at the photos before deciding which to send to my friends right? bt i admit i gt carried away.
i guess it's nt tt i miss him, i just miss the memories, the things tt we've shared. i still cant imagine another guy sitting beside me cuddling me, or what-so-ever except for him. i miss everyth so much. seriously. i still wonder hw and when i can rrly move on without looking back. i'm gna do just tt. i wonder whether i can go out with guys or guy without thinking abt him, or having him on my mind. i still feel the guilt. i still think abt the so called consequences. bt, why shld i even care? the guilt is bad, it isnt doing me any good, it isnt helping at all.
-end-
went sch at ard 8 odd just to do PW. sch starts actual only at ard 11 'cuz the j2s has gt awards presentation. but for me, sch ends at 11 too, 'cuz thr's a match. lols.
going skating with corny tmr morning. and we might be heading to church tgr. lols. hmm. in fact, we aint very close in class. hahas. it was quite impromtu. alright. think it's gna be simple and good. finally i get to skate.
ayes. meeting up with the others after svc, i have to carry my blades with me for the whole day man. ahhhhhh.
ciaos!
| Thursday, April 28, 2005
gt my pw grouping ydae. what shld i say abt the grp? hmm. lets just say i rrly hope things will work out and we can all do well yea? hahahas. i was hoping to be with my clique or smth, bt i guessed i wldnt too. hahas. whatever. i'm okay.
we're meeting tmr to start on our pw.
oh yah yah. i almost bumped into cheeky ydae. hahahahs. and i kept seeing matic. saw him walking ard with his tennis racket. been seeing alot of him these days. *grins.
stayed back for 2hrs for detention today. i was waiting for my friend 'cuz she gt caught for short skirt. then william hung came over, and told me to go for detention too, 'cuz i was wearing dark blue shorts. dung. it's my third detention alrdy. lols. ayes.
2 friends of mine had been asking me for nel's photo. just showed them online. they said tt we looked compaitable and tt we're very very sweet. lols. it's nice hearing these things actually. like priss once said. whenever u move to stand beside him, it's just like a piece of puzzle fitting into the picture. hahs. they make me think of him.
bt i've been so much btr these days.
cornelius might be coming to svc with me on sat. might be going blading with him and maybe the guys too. i sat a bdae party to attend to on sun.
ahh. i havent been studying. oh, kill me pls.
| Wednesday, April 27, 2005
i just gt hm nt too long ago. had trg today. pretty slack. 'cuz they're trg for the A division nw.
the netball team in cj reminds me alot of nbss netball team. ayes. i cant explain. hahas.so nvm. hahahas.
the two test today had been pretty much okay. shld be able to pass. i mean shld be. hahas.
gt back my pathetic maths paper today. and guess what? i gt 9/25. what a joke luhhs. ayes. whatever luhhs.
the weather's been so darn hot.
oh yah. i miss suntanning. i miss being tan. aiyahyah. i miss lots of stuff man.
i wna jian fei!! been eating and eating and eating.
tata*
gna be a busy week.
| Tuesday, April 26, 2005
it's such a hot day today. i just kept sweating and sweating. like now!! arghhh...
darn. i have two test tmr. chem and bio. am still nt done with my revision. i dont want to fail all of them man. wish me good luck. hahah!
ps: been feeling btr, bt. i'm still mood swinging. tt's bad.
| Sunday, April 24, 2005
My stupid internet connection isn't working agn so I had to resort to this. Getting Priscilla to blog.
I hate this man.
It's exactly 5 mths since we broke up. do uu know? do u remember? hmm. It's actually quite an insignificant thing to take note of. afterall, it's breaking up, it isn't getting tgr. I mean, what's the use of remembering such things. Hah. So,I saw you today u looked happy, and ben said you were crappy. Hah. that's gd. I wished i hadn't been so evasive towards you today, but i cant after hearing things about you agn n agn. I just cant. I can't even be like how brave, or how neutral I felt when we collected our O's results, or when we met up in town. Things are so different. Perhaps also 'cuz today has got a little significance, that's why i felt so misearable. Last yr, food and craft fair,you gave me a small bouquet of flowers. it was so sweet, so beautiful, n so thoughtful. But sadly, and yes, it was your first and yet, your last.
It wasn't easy seeing you today at all. I no longer know how to face you, or even say hi to you. It was that difficult. How much i hope i can be like Felicia too, if it were to be that easy.
Well, at least everything went smoothly. Or shld I say, nothing had gone wrong, so it's gd. Hah. The dedication, yes, the last part was for you. "...for those who were once impt to us." Was quite thankful we didn't read out the original one.
Hmm, I shld just say, if things were supposed to be in this way, let it be.
Priss, gi, and I were feeling nostalgic. We actually went walking ard the school reminiscing. As we walked ard the corridors of each floor, we talked abt what happened last tym, there and then. We remember minute things but things that once mattered so much to us. It's impressive how many things have happened, how ppl can change, and how quickly things/ppl can come and go. The three of us had been through alot, which bring us to where we are nw. It isn't bad, isn't too gd either, just that we've changed, no longer the same as before. We laughed as we talked, smiled as we walked in silence. In our hearts, we all knew what was on each other's mind. Things were clear w/o having to speak.
Mdm Faridah asked me abt him.
"no more already ah?"she said
"Ya, no more."
"What happened? He wanted to break up right?" she replied.
"Ya. Ayes, angry with him ah."
"Where is he nw? Are you guys keeping in contact?" she asked.
"Nt quite, going to poly."
"Aiyah, never mind luhh, Jc many guys right?"
"Ya." I said laughing, looking away nt wanting to meet her gaze.
I felt tears welling up in my eyes.
"Ya, you mean you are still sad ah?" she asked.
I just laughed and shook my head. I just dunno what to say. My friends ard me looked at me.
"Don't be sad luhh." she said
"Ya. Okay. Bye, Mdm Faridah. Take care."I said, turned ard and hurried away.
I havent been asked abt 'us' for such a long time.
I dislike being the only one 'standing there'. Always left alone there.
Cant seem to bottle up anymore for today so I cried during service. every single thing seems to make him appear in my mind. I can't help it. I wished I could though.
I'm seldom like that, it's just getting to me. This is just gonna last a short time, then I'll be well, gd and happy agn. I hope that will be soon. I don't want to always be the pathetic one.
I felt gd seeing my friends and teachers today. We sang tgr, laughed tgr, everything. I love all of them. I miss seeing the familiar faces.
-I miss being missed.
Miss being hugged.
Miss being kissed.
Miss being with you.
| Thursday, April 21, 2005
my left ankle and right knee are bth swelling alittle. old injuries. after all the 'crash' trg and pe. hahhas. i mean i havent actually done exercises during the hols so when everyth starts, it's kinda like killing my legs tt are alrdy quite weak. hahas. with the addition of trgs on mon, wed, fri, morning runs for tues and thurs, i have mass pe on mon and fri too. bad man, this is bad. bt, i rrly dont wna skip anyth, so i shall just try my best.
sch's okay. didnt see 'chicky' ard today, my friends did tho. hahahas. 'chicky's' a code word. lols. i came up with it!! hahahas.
so, my day's pretty much okay. time rrly flies man, it's almost the end of the week alrdy. i love fri!!
sat is the fd and craft fair. look forward to going back to visit my friends and my juniors! oh yah. and the teachers of cos.
ehs. did i mention, sarah said thr's sm form of attraction b/w me and sm guy in my sch? lols. she's crappy. basically, my clique is crappy and FOS. hahahhaas. urhs. FOS=full of shit.
well, i'm influenced rrly badly.
| Wednesday, April 20, 2005
guess i might be able to get 5/3 out of 20 for my chem test today. lols. hmm. so we gt our fbt short and jersey today. gna be dismissed at 11 on mon so tt we can be on time for the match at ard 3 at kallang netball. darn. i look so ugly in the jersey man. hais. i need to slim dwn! so much. hmm. i dont think i'm playing, the j2s and the j1s frm first intake had been trg for this.
been busy and tired everyday. trgs on mon wed fri, morning runs on tues and thurs, many test are coming up, long days, so on and so forth. pretty unbearable. afterall, i havent been kept busy for such a long time. i miss doing nth!!
talked to priss last night. bout hw i've been feeling. like finally. it was tough.
ciaos!
| Tuesday, April 19, 2005
hahahs. my chem test is postponed till tmr. hahahahs. tmr's the last day. i rrly rrly have to study ltr. i've been given many chances. went for my morning run, bathed and sch started. today's pretty much okay. sch ended prolly ard 2 bt 'cuz we have remedial so we have to come back to sch. my friends suggested going town for subway, so we went. nth much actually.
i'm getting closer to my classmates. still kping things to myself tho. basically all of us just laugh at lame jokes, help in each other in studies, look at guys, look at girls, yada yada. simple thinfs like friends do.
i think i'm starting to like girls. lols.
| Monday, April 18, 2005
reached hm at like 8. tiring tiring day man. ran 2.4 for pe and some other stuff. sch ended at 5 then i went for trg. and trg ended at like 7. their tornament starting soon. and i have morning run tmr. gna run practically everyday man. hais. i wna be lazy!! okay. so after trg i went to bishan to get my bible then i came hm. tired!!
oh yah. in the end, i didnt have chem test today, and it's gna be tmr. btr study. i dont want to fail man. it's included in mid yr.
alrights. anyway, i'm feeling btr today.
ydae my bro was telling me. uu can get att if uu can cope. like wth. hahas.
| Sunday, April 17, 2005
lonely. i'm so lonely. i have nobody....
man. in the end, i didnt touch on my chem at all. was watching the nkf show with my family. guarantee fail. hahas. i'm serious.
i dont feel like going sch. i dont want to go sch. i remember in the hols when i wasnt doing anyth, i miss going to sch, and having things to do, bt nw tt i have to go to sch, and tt i have plenty of things to do, i want the holidays!! man. i so miss those times. in fact, i miss "many times".
kinda felt btr than i was just nw after taking the afternoon nap, and after the quick run. feel lighter nw. running always helps. crying does too. hahhas. it's all proven. ohhh yah. nt forgetting chocolates, brownies and ice creams. they always make me feel btr.
priss. if uu so happen to be looking at this. dont worry abt anyth. 'cuz i'm fine. and dont be apologetic abt anyth, uu didnt do anyth wrong. plus, nt tt i matter anymre.
have a good day tmr everyone. goodnights.
|
chem test tmr and i knw nuts abt it. hw cool can tt be. nt tt i knw what's going on in class. hah.
went for cg today. my first time. same for priss. kinda hear smths tt i dont wna hear, bt well, it's okay.cg was pretty okay.
took the train home alone, didnt wna seat with priss 'cuz she met her friend. in fact, i just wna be alone. been feeling rather weak these days.
this is such a realistic world.
smtyms, i rrly think. am i tt bad? what the heck is wrong with me? ayes. have this inferiority within me nw, and it isnt gd at all. guess i have to start working on my self confidence, and esteem. anyway, i dont quite knw hw to explain hw i've been feeling, so nvm.
i dont want sch to start.
| Saturday, April 16, 2005
once during easter combine svc at indoor. i cried. i talked to sherin. abt uu. hah. i broke dwn 'cuz of uu. i regretted nt trying. ben was right abt me being open to the religion, bt nt abt myself in the religion. i didnt want to fight for it. actually, we didnt break up 'cuz of religion in the end too, bt because we cant communicate well. probably we were just nt meant to be, or maybe nt meant to last. maybe if i had been mre open abt it, sparing a thought for uu mre, things might nt have turned out this way. guess HE got to me through uu, perhaps tt's why u came into my life agn and agn. in fact, she wanted to talk to uu, after talking to me, didnt happen tho. we decided it isnt of much use nw. since i've decided to rrly move on, just like uu have. she explained everyth to me. "do not yoke with the unyoke." i'm very familiar with tt.
whatever it is, tho it wasnt because of uu tt i became a christian, bt it was 'cuz of uu, tt i want to knw so much mre abt HIM. thank uu so much. i meant it. many times i wanted to sms uu and thank uu bt, decided nt to. i'm happy being a christian. God bless. All the best.
|
hey all.
havent had the chance to come online due to my wonderful com crashing on me. FINALLY IT"S FIXED!
hah. been a rrly rrly long time since i last blogged.
sch didnt start too well for me. the ppl are frm ijs, boys sch and of cos, the gd schs. feeling inferior, or even being self conscious isnt smth too difficult. ppl ard aint very friendly. u'll get ppl looking/staring at uu every now and then. probably even nw, bt, isnt as often anymre. 'cuz formally we were in our own sec sch uniform. it truly makes a difference on where u came frm. hah. realistic world huh. so yea. things have turned btr for nw, bt i still miss 4E1 alot. in fact i miss the sec 4 days alot. i totally understood what gi meant what she said she cldnt talk to ppl in her sch abt her probs. they just dont understand. the ppl in my class are quite nice, bt smtyms, it's just diff to feel the connection. tt's abt it for sch.
oh yah. thr are quite a few eye candies ard. bt many pretty girls luhhs.
i've been pretty okay and busy with sch before. however, i aint feeling good these days. i still get affected by things tt i hear or more like i've heard. smths, i just cant believe man. hah. i thought i'm supposed to be immuned alrdy. i feel like i've been taken for granted in tt case. darn. why is tt tt whenever i blog nw, i cant have a truly happy entry??
do uu have any idea tt it's painful? it's painful aight.
- tina/teena =)
- sexy seventeen
- 280688
- angmokionorth pri. anderson pri. naval base secondary. catholic jc.
- singapore!
- tinatoh88@hotmail.com
- i am. a procrastinator. full of crap. quite materialistic. vainpot. noisy. pampered. indecisive.
- Loves. orange. black. turqoise. green(my current fav).
- the sun and the sea! suntanning. rollerblading. netball. badminton. swimming. sports.
- shopping. bikinis! clothes! sleeping. eating. talking. music.
- apples. watermelon. oranges. mango. fruits!
- the sweetest buds ard me! nbss clique and current clique.
- Hates. creepy crawlies. insects. breakingup. disappointment. backstabbers. liars. hypocrites.
gillian
tiffany
jaymie
alicia
alicia(nbss)
jillian
kahyee
benedict
kairenk
kenneth
raihanah
weilin
cornelius
michelle
elena
jeslyn
christopher
aloysius
shunxie
the shots.
ndp/club
racial harmony
hollandv
birthdaypics
random sch pics
credits:
[danhan&]
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